Americaís Worst Nightmare
by: Kenneth Frawley

 

Itís been rather a devastating blow
To learn that I am Americaís worst nightmare
Where did I go wrong?
I got a good education
Advanced degrees even
Iím up on my world history, so as not to be doomed to repeat any of it
Well schooled in geography, so I can actually point out Afghanistan on the map
Yet, I understand, I am not flowing with the tide


But I care about people
Iím polite and courteous
I always hold the door open for people
Strangers, too!
I always return the shopping cart
Instead of leaving it, annoyingly, sandwiched between cars
I wave to the neighbors
And garden to perk up the neighborhood
I always give to the homeless
I help my friends and family whenever theyíre in need
Iíve never been any kind of criminal or miscreant
Yet, itís as though I travel the wrong direction down a one-way street

How did it come to this?

Now, although I think it tad out of date
And all too often misinterpreted

I do respect the constitution
In fact, I wholeheartedly agree with it, and believe that church and state ARE separate entities
And, like oil and water, should NEVER be mixed
Which, to my mind, clearly makes Faith-Based governmental departments unconstitutional


I also steadfastly believe in the rights of an individual AND free speech
Even though my pleas for peace tend to infuriate others
And have me labeled as unpatriotic
A reaction I thoroughly do not understand

For Iím not an anarchist, warmonger, nor a proponent of one
In fact, although I may notice that another individual has their head up their arse
On a certain issue
I do recognize that individualís right
To shove their head up their bum if they tend to find comfort there

Iím not greedy, nor power hungry
Actually, I believe itís societyís obligation to share
Which is why affirmative action is a MUST
In addition, I also unenthusiastically support a national healthcare system for all US citizens
Yet such thinking elicits finger pointing and the term commie thrust upon me

Worse yet, I also, God forbid, want the proletariat to prosper
I think workers should be protected and earn a proper wage
Itís an insult to societyís backbone to promise tax breaks
Then change the overtime-pay rules

Speaking of tax dodgers, I absolutely loathe those shameless, fear-mongering-money-grubbing-televangelist-swindlers
Why is such blatant theft-over-the-airwaves even allowed?
If people need the church, okay
Just understand, as I would to any drug pusher, I have the right to just say, ďNO!Ē

And since when did religious freedom mean only Christians?
Sorry, but the ten commands, like any other religionís credo
DOES NOT belong on school or governmental buildings
Yes, yet another view that astounds Mr. and Mrs. Redstate

Speaking of backward dolts
I find it shameful that so many people happily sell their vote for lower taxes
Isn't there more to politics than tax breaks
And kicking the shit out of some third-world hellhole?

Now, although Iím down on liars in general
Iím certain lying about the reasons for war is the greater sin
Than lying about a blowjob
At least no lives were lost in the latter

But do you know what really shocked me?
Launched me into a loud and lengthy guffaw?
Embarrassed me?
Caused me great shame and humiliation?
Yeah, you guessed it, FREEDOM FRIES

Should the US Congress have also done away with terms like fiancť, rendezvous and RSVP?
And what about books by Hugo, Dumas and Voltaire?
Should they not have chucked them, too?
Shouldn't the US congress have also given the Statue of Liberty back to the French?
And perhaps it should also do something with Chevrolet, as well?

If the US is trying to spread democracy across the globe
Donít the French have the right to disagree?
And wasnít it those Frenchie French, as that mouthy-conservative-TV-dullard likes to claim
Who came to the aid of the US in 1776
And again in 1812?
Besides, arenít Freedom Fries bad for you anyway?

Yeah, all right, okay, I admit it                                                                                                                                                                                       Jíadore France et les Francais, et Paris,
Le Cote díAzure, et Provence, le vin Francais et le cinema Francais
Yeah, thatís right! I even like French films,
And, okay, yes, I have spent a huge portion of my life outside of the US
So what!
Why should any of these acts be considered a bloody cardinal sin in the US?

And since weíve segued onto the subject of sacrilege, what is with this NRA?
Canít these dolts think of any other ways to express manhood?
Perhaps if they bought dictionaries instead of guns
Theyíd know the word militia is not a synonym for
Good Ďol boy or redneck or bumpkin

And speaking of mind-numbing violence, how asinine and barbaric is the murdering of criminals?
Although I do think Kenny G, Michael Bolton, and Thomas Kincade deserve the electric chair,
Do we really need to lose our collective humanity just because criminals have lost theirs?
Is that really the way to end crime?
Might we not address the root of the problem first?
You know, things like racism, poverty, a proper education for all

Speaking of inhumanity
I donít understand why religious people advocate capital punishment
Isnít that somewhat duplicitous?
I mean, doesn't only their God actually have the right to the heavy-hand?

But speaking of treachery, I find the notion of trickle-down economics a heinous affront
Same goes for lassez-faire, status-quo and the wag-the-dog notions of politics
But what is most stunning is the mounting deficit
Wasnít there a surplus not too long ago?
Thatís what I heard, anyway

Must ALL the oil be sucked out from within the planet?
And the residue inhaled, as well as lodged in the atmosphere?
Does everyone have to drive those intrusive, fuel guzzling, SUV monstrosities?
Why canít these and diesel engines be done away with
Or run on bio-diesel fuel?
Why not add horsepower to hybrid cars, too?
Burger joints are now pushing salads, for Christ's sake
So why canít Big Oil and the utilities expand into solar panels for energy?
Why canít GM get into building electric cars, and monorail systems, too?

All right, so I'm a tree-hugger
How is such a concern for the habitat a serious faux pas?
Must we all park our monster trucks on the front lawn?

Why canít US citizens fight the Pleasantville mindset that plagues the national thinking?
Why can't the inhabitants resist that sheep-like trait of happily swallowing everything
Every single spin, fed to them?

But I guess that would mean the populous would have to confront societal flaws
Admit to them and actually do something about them
Which, I guess, would mean broadening the collective horizon
All frightening thoughts, I know

Yet, might it not be better to forget about sweeping things under the rug
By pointing a finger at me and shouting
"Liberal, commie, tree-hugging, granola lover!"
Societal flaws, like ignorance, don't disappear when we look away

Wouldn't it be better to replace that limited and isolationist mantra
"America, love it or leave it"
with
"America, LOVE it and BETTER it?