Ken's Top Ten People to Take a Swing At

1.) George Wanker Bush must be the obvious choice, apart from his episodes of stupidity displayed by countless language gaffes and stumbles, forgetfulness, and sheer confusion, the laundry list of unconstitutional acts boggles the mind. For the man left a legacy of hate, war, torture, invasion of privacy and individual rights and liberty. Yes, it may feel wrong to single out the retarded kid, but again, the oaf has simply brought it on upon himself.

Bushkin, as in bumpkin, along with his cohorts, Rove and Cheney's, concocted a warped scheme to charge Iraq with responsibility for the 9/11 attacks in order to gain control of the oil-rich Middle East. Capitalizing upon the emotions of a devastated populous, the plan was to immediately make use of the common enemy ploy to gain support for the scheme's agenda. The enemy became Saddam and not Osama, who had been actually been forgotten by Mr. Bush, which afforded the Saudi's very considerable holdings in US banks safety from governmental investigation freezes

If ever there were examples of evildoer behavior, surely Bush's actions would epitomize the label. For like a bull charging recklessly ahead, unconcerned about fallout, president Dunderhead focuses only on that in his line of sight.  But, in the end, as the evidence begins to reveal, George Wanker is merely, in all actuality, the first marionette. 




2.) Glenn Beck is actually the most un-patriotic person in America. He cares not about people, or facts. What he cares about is successfully acting as the vehicle for dumbing-down the US populous so that his corporate masters can more easily manipulate the masses and achieve maximum profit. 

Deny it as he will, but Beck is the malevolent incarnation of Howard Beal, the insane newscaster from writer Paddy Chayefsky's brilliant piece Network (1975). Yet unlike the Beal character, Beck actually works diligently to induce irrational fear and incite violence. Like that bloated-warthog Rush Limbaugh, Beck is a man in possession of absolutely no education. However, he and brother Limbaugh do possess a great deal of shtick and chutzpa. Swallow any of Beck's rot and one might as well swallow rat poison.




3.) Michael Bolton remains second on the list because of his shameless ability to, on command, feign great agonizing emotion when performing his predictable, sappy and nightmarishly formulaic love ballads.  This obvious and audacious attempt to manipulate his female audience surely must stand as the epitome of exploitation.  In addition, and not surprisingly, his High-Shallowness is also a convicted plagiarizer.  Apparently, there’s nothing this fiend won’t fake, no depth to which he’s not willing to sink.


4.) Rush Limbaugh.  Yes, this peabrain, unrelenting, pontificating windbag, this master manipulator is the next great offender on this list. However, his rhetoric is far more insidious and far, far more dangerous.  His views, which are extremely narrow in scope and showcase his severe case of tunnel vision, reveal a man who is fearful, yet simultaneously, starving for the spotlight. As a result, Mr. Blowhard has apparently appointed himself the official U.S. hall-monitor, if you will, as a means of policing those whom, he believes, may be after his very own security blanket.  And like many a greatly shameful  finger pointer in U.S. history, a la Senator Joseph McCarthy, Rush and his runaway, close-minded ideology, in actuality, serve only as further great stains upon an already severely tarnished American reputation.  For sadly, not only has he been known to, distort the truth, Sir Loudmouth has mistakenly understood the word liberal for a four-letter-word, unaware of its actual definition, 'open minded'. Clearly, not an educated man, perhaps Rush should have spent more time at his local library instead trying to corral as many undiscriminating, sheep-like followers into his camp.  

  Rush vs Reality!!!



5.) Kenny G, with his caramel coated, sugary, horribly schmaltzy covers and melodies, has the unmitigated gall to refer to his music as jazz. Like Mr. Bolton, Mr. G brazenly targets the musically uninformed and those who tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves. His suburban, cheap-white-Zinfandel-like, generic and revoltingly bourgeois sound is an insult to those who appreciate real jazz. Bird, Coltrane, Monk and Getz, to name a mere few, are surely turning in their graves over this vile affront.



6.) Bill O'Reilly clearly does not like America, or Americans. If he did, his "my way or else" mindset would not be his modus operandi. This villain is unwilling to accept that people are different, even if they inhabit the same land. He does not recognise the individual, intellect, and most shockingly, cultures. To proclaim himself Culture Warrior, then to clearly be out of touch with Black American society, is not only embarrassing, it is shameful and evidence of his racist tendencies. To visit a Harlem restaurant and be surprised to 'find it like any other restaurant' is all too telling. Add to that, this is a man who considers himself just in commanding Americans who disagree with him, Mr. Bush, and governmental policies to 'Shut up!', which is an act contrary to the spirit of the land, the notion of free expression, liberty and the right to practice democracy, all things the Nation's founding fathers were keen upon and based the new Nation's ideology in. Shame on this dolt!

7.) Sean Hannity, like Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly, is another bottom-feeder looking for adoration from the great mass of simpletons.  And like Limbaugh, and a host of other maniacal windbags, Hannity, it would appear,  desperately clings to the insane notion that open-mindedness and individualism are foul words, which is why he seeks shelter under an erroneous, umbrella use of the word liberal for a simplified method of referring to these basic human rights he appears to oppose.  Apparently Hannity and Rush must have gone to the same school for under-achievers back in Pleasantville.  In their schoolbooks, John Wayne single handedly tamed the wild west and, amazingly, defeated both the Japanese and Germans in World War II.  In their dictionaries, the word liberal is simply a synonym for the words anarchist, commie, bleeding heart.  Its actual definition of broad-minded, is far too frightening to him.  Clearly Hannity, like his fellow therapy-needing blowhards, is a frightened individual, childlike in his need for a superhero he can put his faith into.  Bad news though,  Santa, the Easter Bunny and Spiderman don't really exist.  Neither did John Wayne.  Sure, the actor was actually on the planet.  But the key word here is ACTOR. The man was NEVER a soldier of any kind.  He elected to spend his time cranking out propaganda war effort films in the 1940s and 1950s, unlike like other famous actors of the day, like James Stewart.  In the end, this Hannity oaf, as does his great plebian, sheep-like, lynch-mob-horde, views the world as canines do, two dimensionally and in black and white.  No grey areas, please!  That's too scary!  No, no, no, he wants control.  Give him control!  Give him Pleasantville any day!

8.) Benny Hinn has secured his place on this because he doesn't write, paint, build or do anything constructive.  No, this hoodlum prefers to hypnotize the great plebeian mass and bilk them out of their cash.  In doing so, his method requires injecting spectacle and outrageous theatrics into his ploy of whipping his impressionable and very sad psychologically handicapped audience into a spending frenzy.  If ever there was a greater criminal, a more bold or blatant thief, he has not yet been identified.  

9.) Thomas Kincade is next up for a well deserved wallop!  This swindler may  actually have had small measure of artistic ability, which makes his sins all the more horrific. Yet despite this, TK prefers to dabble in motel-art-for-the-uninformed-mass. And the reason?  Yes, you guessed it. Mullah! Cashola! Dosh! Lolly!  Adding to the stains already upon his reputation, Thomas, in an effort to market his vile rubbish, has had the audacity to (RT) register the very same phrase used to describe da Vinci, during the Renaissance, and refer to himself as the contemporary world's 'painter of light'.  Thus, it would appear evident that T.K. spent more time in marketing courses than in  his art study.  And, as you might expect, like any mass-marketed, supermarket product, you can  find Tom's plebian paintings for sale in malls, shopping centers, industrial complexes and on infomercials.  In regard to the latter, in one particularly putrid infomercial, T.K. himself touts his horribly sappy painting 'Home is where the heart is' in a particularly disgusting manner. For a mere $40 the punter can get a decal of that painting stuck onto the side of a flower-filled teapot from FTD florists for your dear old mom.  The insulting slogan, which T.K. himself flings at his targeted know-nothings is, 'It's a gift from the heart, to warm her heart.'  As a one keen observer noted, THE PAINTER OF HYPE would be a much more fitting title for this Henry Ford of the art world.

10.)  That huge gob of hers clearly establishes Anne Robinson, or hag-extraordinaire, as the weakest link.  For no less than eight months after having had the nerve to blurt out, 'I find the Welsh irritating and annoying. They are always so pleased with themselves.  I've never taken to the Welsh. What are they for?' on Room 101, a British television programme, Robinson ridiculed the Welsh town of Pwllheli, on the beautiful Lleyn peninsula by stating,  'No-one in their right mind would go holidaying in Pwllheli'.  Under the Race Relations Act (RRA), all of this rot is a criminal offence. Spreading racial hatred in speech or by publishing or distributing matter that is threatening, abusive or insulting is considered a crime.  Therefore, the matter is clear, 'get a rope!'

Now, this vicious Saxon hag has moved on to Americans, claiming they are 'unbelievably stupid'.  She may be correct in her discovery of George W. Bush's stupidity, and that only 5% of Americans have passports.  But this does not imply stupidity.  Ignorance is NOT a synonym for stupidity.  Fear conditioning and isolationism are heavily promoted by conservatives in the US.  And it is these, and a very poor educational system in the States, which results in an under-educated populace.  Fortunately for us, another outraged Welshman has provided all who loathe this woman, (We'll refer to her as such, at the moment.  But I fear her womanhood must still be proven. Looking at this photo, I find it frightfully Tootsie-esque!) with the opportunity to take swing at her.